Weddings are all about compromise. City or country? June or November? My religion or yours?
For Chelsea Clinton, a vegetarian, it was the decision to serve meat to the guests at her July 31 wedding. (Short ribs, specifically, though there were rumors of Angus steak.)
For some couples, that is a concession too far.
“If your family loves you and wants you to have that special day, I think they can go one meal and not eat meat,” said Cecilia Kinzie, a vegan and food consultant in Petaluma, Calif., who served no meat at her 2009 wedding.
Clinton-Mezvinsky wedding
At Ms. Clinton’s wedding, he said, a color-coded map indicated each guest’s dietary restrictions, ensuring that no one was served something that he or she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) eat.
Not every bride can afford that kind of precision, so priorities must be set. Which decision a couple makes depends largely on their philosophy of weddings: Is it really all about you, or does the comfort of your guests come first?
Read the entire New York Times article here.
When you think of a Sunday evening wedding for 20 people — including the bride and groom — you think of a couple doing something simple, off peak, small. Last weekend, Linbin and Xueping (pronounced “Shray-ping”) executed the most elegant ceremony I have done so far this year. (And that is saying something.)
They had exclusive use of the lovely Cuneo Mansion & Gardens in Vernon Hills. That’s a good start.
It was a very hot day with bright sunshine angled right in the eyes of the bridesmaids, best man and me. But by the time the ceremony started, a bit late, the sun had set behind the trees. There was still a bit of light shining on the road when the bride entered on a horse drawn carriage! Notice her veil in the sunlight.
The bride and her father walked down a path with columns and beautiful flowers.
After they exchanged their vows, in English, they spoke of their love for each other in Mandarin — so their parents, who live in China and only speak Mandarin — could understand what was being said. (I love multi-cultural wedding ceremonies.) Notice the beautiful white draped backdrop with purple flowers (the color of the day) draped across the top.
A string trio led by the wonderful Paul Ghica serenaded us with music — while waiting, during the ceremony and during cocktails and hors d’ouerves. Genevieve Manning of Kenmare Catering did a lot of running around to attend to the myriad details of this event. She made it all come together. Well done. The photos, done beautifully and quickly, are by Adrian Natase of Adriannastse Photography, Inc. Thank you, Adrian.
The evening ended with the reception inside the mansion.
The bride, Linbin, e-mailed me on Tuesday. “What a wonderful ceremony you did at our wedding! Everything was beautiful and amazing. Xueping and I are both very glad that we chose your company and you as our officiant.”
I love what I do.
For the first time that I have ever seen, there was karaoke at the end of the reception! It worked. I would recommend it.
The reception was nice but fairly typical — toasts by the best man, maid of honor and father of the bride (all very touching), a photo-montage of the bride and groom (done by the father of the bride), a delicious dinner, dancing, etc.
Then, towards the end of the reception, the DJ, the terrific Matt Windsor of MDM Entertainment, switched it to karaoke! The groom, James, dressed in his military blues, sang first. My wife talked/sang Jim Stafford’s “I Don’t Like Spiders and Snakes.” I sang the Blake Shelton version of “Home”. The crowd was into it — signing up to sing or watching it. It ended too quickly. Except for the groom, we only got to do one song each. But that proves how popular it was.
The ceremony was in the Wolf Ballroom of the Holiday Inn Chicago Mart Plaza (in the Sun-Times building). It is on the 15th floor with floor-to-ceiling windows facing south down the Chicago River towards the Willis (Sears) Tower. It’s a gorgeous view. Barbara Martin, Director of Catering Sales, took great care of us. She was even there for the entire rehearsal, which is unusual.
The view from the Holiday Inn Chicago Mart Plaza
I have seen cupcakes — a growing trend. Most couples have a wedding cake. Last weekend, for the first time ever, I saw individual wedding cakes — one for each guest.
A wedding cake for each guest
Unfortunately, this is not the photo of them. The 5 different flavors made by Bombon Cafe of Chicago were more varied and prettier than these. The couple, Jennifer and Greg, had the on-top-of-every-detail Kelly Turner of the Allerton Hotel box up two of them for me to take home — chocolate and key lime! They were quite tasty and beautiful to look at. They were so rich that my wife and I shared one of them — which satisfied our sweet tooth for the day. So, we had two days of fresh baked treats.
When the couple went to their tasting, the cakes were presented to them this way. They asked and the owners said sure, they could do that for their wedding. So, don’t hesitate to ask when you see something you like.
Best Men, Maids/Matrons of Honor, feeling pressure abour your toast? YouTube just raised the bar — and that is probably not a good thing.
The New York Times recently did a story that opens:
WEDDING toasts can be witty or raunchy. They can be shouted, mumbled or slurred. They can make guests laugh, cry or yawn. But in a video democracy in which guests are often armed with sophisticated cameras, toasts are becoming more like scripted performances.
I think a good toast is a story about the bride or the groom — something funny and/or warm but not too over the top. Nothing sexual. A story from when they were younger often works well. Follow that with your best wishes for the couple — be specific. Then be sure to actually propose a toast — all the guests have a champagne glass in their hand.
You can write it out (I use a script for the wedding ceremony). If it’s more than one page, staple it together. That way, if you accidentally drop it, it stays in the right order.
A one minute toast is sufficient. It’s about being genuine — not doing show tunes, dance routines or being a comic. Leave the YouTube videos to others — be yourself. There is a reason you were chosen to be the Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man. Let that love show through.
You can read the entire New York Times article, with links.
An increasing trend, one I like, is to have cupcakes for the dessert at the wedding reception — instead of cake.
Sometimes, the couple will have a really small cake — just to be able to cut it and feed it to each other. See it at the top of this tower? But most often, it’s just cupcakes.
You can do so many more flavors. (My wife said I could choose any flavor for our wedding cake — as long as it was a white cake :>) This presents so many more color combinations. The groom wore a gold colored vest and tie. The cupcakes matched the theme. (Brides, wearing white, don’t have many options, color-wise.)
This couple got married last weekend on the top (open) deck on the Odyssey Boat at Navy Pier. It is, likely, my last outdoor wedding of the year. Considering that it was lower 50′s and windy (but no rain), that’s fine by me and most guests.
A recent column by the Chicago Tribune’s advice columnist, Ask Amy
Dear Amy: Where did this tradition of the bride and groom giving guests “gifts” at a wedding come from? I personally think it is totally unnecessary and a waste of money. These days, most weddings have a fairly tight budget.
When my great-niece got married a year ago, I told her that I had no need of a gift from the bride and groom.
I don’t need any trinkets, and if I want a piece of candy I’ll go buy a really good piece of dark chocolate.
She took my advice, and I somehow doubt anyone thought any less of her for not offering these “gifts.”
I think a word from you that it is OK to not give these wedding “gifts” would save brides a lot of money and the time spent making and/or decorating the containers they are given in.
– Linda
Dear Linda: Like you, I am flummoxed by the practice of giving “goodie bags” to all guests at a wedding.
Wedding guests should leave a wedding reception satisfied by a nice meal, laughing at the memory of Uncle Vinnie doing the Macarena and touched by the knowledge that they were asked to celebrate the start of a new family. Wedding guests don’t need gifts.
I assume this fad has been fueled by a generation of kids who were raised by well-meaning parents who thought that birthdays had to be celebrated by giving goodie bags to every party guest.
Then the wedding industry grabbed this unique opportunity, manufacturing all sorts of trinkets and monogrammed sweets, along with special bags to put them in, and telling brides and grooms that these gifts are an important part of their celebration.
I can only hope that the downturn in the economy forces marrying couples to be more sensible — to focus on the core of their wedding celebration, which is the part where they get married, surrounded by the important people in their lives.
The best gift couples can give their guests is to marry well and start their new life with joy.
I agree with Amy — giving gifts to your guests is NOT necessary. OK, I’ve had my share of them — mini photo frames, coffee scoops and many kinds of candy. (Actually, that’s my favorite kind.) No one will think less of you if you don’t give gifts. So, IMHO, save the time and money.
“Mobile puppet characters with polished peformances that are a mix of comedy, music, dance and audience intereaction” is how the brochure describes Those Funny Little People.
I call the bride and groom — invited wedding reception crashers — amusing and funny. The dances are very well choreographed. The lips really move to the words of the song — and smooch people at the reception. It was fun and funny.
I’ve never seen them at a reception before. The groom’s parents did this as a surprise gift. It came after dinner as a kickoff to an evening of dancing. It worked.
Later, someone mentioned that it must be odd being in the costume for everyone looks at your belly button area (for that’s where the face of the character is; the actor looks out through an opening in the hat).
This happened at the reception for Rachel and Joe in Wheaton at Cantigny’s new banquet hall — opened just this year. Large windows overlook the scenic park. High ceilings make for an open feel. Cantigny does all their own cooking and baking on the premises. It was an especially moist and delicious marble cake.
Another way to customize a reception — a cake topper that looks like you two!
The New York Times reported on Sunday, “Thanks to digital technology, cake toppers are more customizable than they have ever been. Plenty of Web sites, including etsy.com, offer an abundance of prices (from about $20 on up) and styles — realistic, traditional and quirky. They are, no matter the personality, the couple in miniature.”
When we got married 25 years ago, we had a generic couple atop our cake. Not sure a customized cake topper is worth the price but it is attention getting.
Read the entire article, with more links, here.
Budget, Cultural Traditions, In the News, Reception | Rev. Phil Landers | 
August 10, 2010 3:11 PM | 
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