Cycle of Life — guacamole, 60th anniversary & more

At last night’s rehearsal dinner for Stephanie and Matt, Uncle Chris gave a speech/toast about “the cycle of life.”

It was the bride’s birthday. Uncle Chris recalled, in the day before cell phones, waiting to hear when she was born. 24 years later, she is about to get married.

We ate guacamole at the rehearsal dinner held at the beautiful Knollwood Country Club in Lake Forest — where one set of  grandparents have been members for 40 years. The men are required to wear jackets — which we definitely were not wearing during the rehearsal with the temps in the 90′s. When the bride and her sister (the maid of honor) were in high school, they ate a lot of burgers and guacamole there when they worked at the pool there.

I sat at the table with the bride’s parents — who were married on the same day Pam and I were (June 23, 1984). We got married a few hours before they did.

Also at that table were grandparents who will be married for 60 years next week. Her mother told her, 60 years ago, that it would not last. Ha!

The bachelor party weekend in Wisconsin included the two dads! They bonded with each other. What a great idea.

Dinner ended with 3 homemade cheesecakes sliced with a Tiffany server — a wedding gift put into use right away.

What a privilege to be a part of such a special evening.  I love what I do.

Engagement Ring — for Him!

The number of “mengagements,” in which men are symbolically declaring themselves off-limits at the same time as their fiancées, is so small, no one seems to be counting. But it bears noting that some men, whether heterosexual or gay, are proudly displaying ring fingers wrapped in plain and engraved bands, gemstones and even diamonds.

The article in the New York Times gives an example:

One evening in April, 2009, while they vacationed in the Czech Republic, Ms. Hauner, 32, and Mr. Voss, 30, each pulled rings out of their pockets and proposed simultaneously in Prague.

“We didn’t discuss it beforehand in a lot of details,” said Ms. Hauner, who, like Mr. Voss, is a postdoctoral neuroscience researcher in the Chicago area. “There was just this idea that when we got engaged, we both wanted to ask one another and tell each other why we wanted to do this. We wanted to participate in the event equally.”

That he, too, would wear a ring seemed only natural to Mr. Voss.

“Why would one person wear a ring and the other not?” he said. “It may seem novel now, but I would hope it’s becoming more normal.”

Last evening, I met with Maria and Jason, whom I will marry on Thanksgiving weekend. Jason was wearing a simple engagement ring — on his right hand. “No, it’s definitely not his wedding band,” Maria said. It’s the first time I’ve seen it. Gotta’ say, it makes sense.

Just don’t spend a lot of money on it — especially if he won’t be wearing that ring after the wedding.

Unity Wine — Something New

We have all seen unity candles. Fairly new is unity sand. For the first time ever, I did unity wine.

Early in the ceremony, connected with memorial candles and flowers for mothers, I said:

Mark and Tiger, you have chosen at this time to have your mothers come up and fill the cups you will use later for your unity wine.

The two mothers poured wine from a carafe into a lovely, clear wine glass.

Later, when a couple normally lights the center unity candle or pours the sand, I said:

As Mark and Tiger share from the Unity Cup, they share in the joy that is created when two people make a lifelong promise to each other. The two small cups represent their two lives. The center cup symbolizes their wish to unite the marriage.

Earlier, your mothers filled your individual cups.

Mark and Tiger, your life has been shaped and filled by your family, so it is a family member who has filled each of your cups.

Now you two will pour HALF the wine from your individual cups in the Unity Cup.

Wine from each up is added equally to the Unity Cup, symbolizing the equal sacrifice you both happily make to create your marriage. There are two reasons that not all the wine in your cups is used.

• First, this is a reminder that while you are joined together, you continue to be individuals. Your individuality is what first attracted you to each other and what continues to draw you together. So, celebrate your individuality and treasure each other’s uniqueness.
• Second, your family has helped to fill your cup through the years, making you the people you are today, and they will continue to shape your lives. Just as the wine poured by your family remains in your individual cups, so the bond you have with your family will remain as well.

In your marriage, as in this wine ceremony, may each of your lives be perfectly combined together (gesture to the Unity Cup). And may your individuality remain cherished  (gesture to the individual cups). As you share from this Unity Cup, may it be a symbol of your commitment to each other, to your family, and to your marriage.

(The Officiant passes the Unity Cup to the Bride and Groom.)

There are more religious versions — different not in actions but in the explanation — as well.

For a couple looking for something new or different, this is worth considering. It works nicely.

Read Mark and Tiger’s proposal story – which I shared with their 100+ guests at the historic Hotel Baker — on my blog. She visits THE ring daily at the jewelry store — until, one day, it’s gone!

See why two photographers are better than one — with proof — on my blog. It features the good looking couple, Mark and Tiger.

Karaoke at the End of the Reception!

For the first time that I have ever seen, there was karaoke at the end of the reception! It worked. I would recommend it.

The reception was nice but fairly typical — toasts by the best man, maid of honor and father of the bride (all very touching), a photo-montage of the bride and groom (done by the father of the bride), a delicious dinner, dancing, etc.

Then, towards the end of the reception, the DJ, the terrific Matt Windsor of MDM Entertainment, switched it to karaoke! The groom, James, dressed in his military blues, sang first. My wife talked/sang Jim Stafford’s “I Don’t Like Spiders and Snakes.” I sang the Blake Shelton version of “Home”. The crowd was into it — signing up to sing or watching it. It ended too quickly. Except for the groom, we only got to do one song each. But that proves how popular it was.

The ceremony was in the Wolf Ballroom of the Holiday Inn Chicago Mart Plaza (in the Sun-Times building). It is on the 15th floor with floor-to-ceiling windows facing south down the Chicago River towards the Willis (Sears) Tower. It’s a gorgeous view. Barbara Martin, Director of Catering Sales, took great care of us. She was even there for the entire rehearsal, which is unusual.

The view from the Holiday Inn Chicago Mart Plaza

Wedding ON the Ledge at Skydeck!

I married Jeanne and Donald while the three of us were standing on the Ledge of the Sears (Willis) Tower Skydeck!

Wedding on the Ledge!

I was part of the first wedding party to ever have their photo taken on the Ledge (read that blog post).  But in this case the ceremony itself  was on the Ledge! It helped that the small wedding was on a Wednesday afternoon in January — definitely not their peak time.

There were a few more guests than originally planned — people on the Skydeck who watched the wedding. As always, they were respectful.

4" of glass seperate you from 1300' below!

The bride’s mother would not go on the 4″ glass with a view 1300 feet straight down — not even for one photo. Her picture was taken with the John Hancock building and Lake Michigan in the background. It was a cold but sunny day.

This is an amazing photo op for every bride and groom — only in Chicago! They don’t charge anything extra — just the fee for going to the Skydeck.

Help Guests with the High Cost of Parking

The cost of parking in Chicago is ridiculous. I have paid as much as $40 + tip to park for a wedding!

Your guests — especially those who live in the suburbs or out of town — abhor it, too. For some, that may be enough reason to skip your wedding. So, some couples pay for everyone’s parking for wedding and reception. I recommend it, if you can afford it.

For the first time ever, last month I got a parking voucher for a wedding at the Signature Room (95th floor) of the John Hancock building. (You know the building was erected way before 9/11 — you can park inside the building! Security does look into your trunk.)

A New Leaf, just west of Lincoln Park Zoo, is a gorgeous place for a wedding — but has no parking anywhere close. Some couples hire a valet service — free to guests (except for tips). I, too, appreciate the convenience of that.

Consider paying for your guests' parking.

Most Chicago hotels offer valet parking. Consider, if you are able, to provide a voucher for your guests who drive to your ceremony location. They will appreciate it. On the other hand, there are limits to a budget.  No one expects you to pay for their parking.

Parking is the only additional charge I have for couples. Otherwise, I have one all-inclusive price for my services. But $40 + tip to park for the rehearsal and $40 + tip to park for the ceremony is real money.

Individual Wedding Cake for Each Guest

I have seen cupcakes — a growing trend. Most couples have a wedding cake. Last weekend, for the first time ever, I saw individual wedding cakes — one for each guest.

A wedding cake for each guest

Unfortunately, this is not the photo of them. The 5 different flavors made by Bombon Cafe of Chicago were more varied and prettier than these. The couple, Jennifer and Greg, had the on-top-of-every-detail Kelly Turner of the Allerton Hotel box up two of them for me to take home — chocolate and key lime! They were quite tasty and beautiful to look at. They were so rich that my wife and I shared one of them — which satisfied our sweet tooth for the day. So, we had two days of fresh baked treats.

When the couple went to their tasting, the cakes were presented to them this way. They asked and the owners said sure, they could do that for their wedding. So, don’t hesitate to ask when you see something you like.

Groomsman Carries Flip Video in Processional

A groomsman carried a flip video camcorder as he was walking in the processional on Saturday. Eric was groomsman #8, the first groomsmen to walk in. So, it was a clear shot of the chapel — and me — as he walked down the aisle. I have never seen that before.

The bridesmaid, Meghan, held flowers in her left hand and held on to Eric with her right hand. In his fisted left hand — arm extended out for the bridesmaid to hold on to — was the flip video camcorder. It is small enough — smaller than most smartphones — that I did not notice it until he got close.

I’m curious to know how the video turned out. The couple, Nicole and Danny, had two photographers but no professional videographer.

The New York Times ran a story about pocket video camcorders with brand comparisons last week. The day before that ran, some wedding colleagues suggested that we interview couples after the wedding about how well they liked our services — and post it to Facebook.  Brides, how annoying would that be if I did that? Easier for a DJ to do it at the end of the evening. Please leave a comment.

The wedding was at the beautiful and historic Century Memorial Chapel at Naper Settlement in Naperville. Stephanie there took great care of us. Having Katie Kozlowski of Dettagli Weddings, wedding plannerr extraordinaire, ensured that it all ran smoothly.

Wedding Where Obamas Had Their Reception

Sandy & Jim’s wedding this weekend was where the Obamas had their wedding reception 17 years ago — at the South Shore Cultural Center. It’s a gorgeous building, rebuilt in 1916, overlooking the lake. It is located a bit south of the Museum of Science & Industry. It is owned by the Chicago Park District — so anyone can rent it. There is even free parking!

You just can’t afford to build them like this anymore — very high ceilings with artwork on it, floor-to-ceiling windows with the biggest “bride’s room” (a former library) you will ever see.

The windows go all the way to the floor — and can be raised! So, you can be indoors but have the outside weather. That’s getting the best of both worlds.

The view of Lake Michigan is wonderful. The ceremony was at 5:00pm on a Saturday — so the sun had set. It was, unfortunately, completely dark by the end of the ceremony. The rehearsal was on Friday at 1:00pm — so the views was terrific. Think about that when planning your wedding there. Can’t believe I have never done a wedding there before.

The Obamas were not married there. They were married on October 18, 1992 by the (in)famous Rev. Jeremiah Wright at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago.

Sandy & Jim’s wedding went wonderfully well. Everyone enjoyed their story — laughing at all the right parts. A sister of the bride and groom each did a reading.

The matron of honor (and bride’s sister) started tearing up when the string trio (Celebration Strings) started playing “I Will Remember You.” That got the bride, Sandy, in tears. The sisters start to laugh so they won’t cry. The groom, Jim, is prepared with Kleenex. He holds Sandy’s flowers so she can pass Kleenex to her sister and wipe her eyes. It was all very touching.

Warmer on Lake Michigan in Nov. than in Aug.

Jim and Sandy’s reception was aboard Odyssey Cruise at Navy Pier. It was the first time I have been at a reception onboard without first having married the couple on the top deck of the boat. (They were married where the Obamas had their reception; read about it here.)

You never know what the weather will be when you plan a wedding — the three of us had met 18 months earlier. You hope for the best and plan for the worst.

At 10:30pm, on Saturday, Nov. 7, my wife, Pam, and I were comfortably on the top deck of the boat — outside — enjoying the magnificent views. In fact, the weather was better than it was at the end of August when the company my wife works for had their dinner boat cruise! She wore a winter coat that evening with gloves. (Unfortunately, I could not attend, I was officiating a wedding at Salvatore’s in Lincoln Park.)

Back to our cruise:  to the east was an almost ‘magical’ view I have never seen before — the half moon was low in the sky, there was a bit of fog with the light of the moon reflected in the calm water. To the west was the magnificent skyline of Chicago — clear and impressive. We could see some of the stars overhead. It was the perfect ending for a wonderful reception — started with lobster bisque soup, ended with a moist and creamy chocolate cake followed by a chocolate fountain with wine and dancing (the couple did an outstanding first dance; I don’t dance much, to Pam’s regret).

Ultimate Halloween Wedding — at a Cemetery!

I have done a number of Halloween weddings. Typically, people come to the wedding dressed “normally” but the reception is a Halloween party. One bride had a French manicure — but with orange instead of white tips.

Last weekend, on October 31, I had what may be the ultimate Halloween wedding. For starters, it was at a cemetery in Chicago! That is a first for me.  The ceremony was in the cemetery’s chapel — which has crypts on either side. The oldest were people born in 1875. So, there were dead people, in a way, attending the wedding.

There was standing room only — the couple was surprised and amazed at how many people came out for the ceremony. It helps that Halloween was on a Saturday.

75% of the guests dressed up in costumes — at the wedding! The father of the bride was Dracula — and walked his daughter down the aisle that way. (The bride was dressed normally; the groom was in a 50′s white suit.) The ring bearer was a 3 year old boy holding a silver tray with a severed hand with two rings on it (no, not the real ones.) The werewolf was there, so was Spiderman and a lot of other nifty costumes.

The ceremony was otherwise dignified, touching and sincere.

My favorite part of Halloween is the (free) candy. We gave out mini-Snickers this year. Costume parties are fun. I dressed up as a pumpkin at our neighborhood Halloween party last year (orange shirt, orange face paint, pumpkin top hat). As a minister, I think people are too casual in their depiction of evil. I do believe in a real devil and a real heaven and hell.

I will post photos from the wedding as soon as I can get them from the professional photographer at Edward Fox.

Those Funny Little People — Reception Entertainment

“Mobile puppet characters with polished peformances that are a mix of comedy, music, dance and audience intereaction” is how the brochure describes Those Funny Little People.

I call the bride and groom — invited wedding reception crashers — amusing and funny. The dances are very well choreographed. The lips really move to the words of the song — and smooch people at the reception. It was fun and funny.

I’ve never seen them at a reception before. The groom’s parents did this as a surprise gift. It came after dinner as a kickoff to an evening of dancing. It worked.

Later, someone mentioned that it must be odd being in the costume for everyone looks at your belly button area (for that’s where the face of the character is; the actor looks out through an opening in the hat).

This happened at the reception for Rachel and Joe in Wheaton at Cantigny’s new banquet hall — opened just this year. Large windows overlook the scenic park. High ceilings make for an open feel. Cantigny does all their own cooking and baking on the premises. It was an especially moist and delicious marble cake.

Flowers for Moms — the Same Kind She Had at Her Wedding

Giving a flower to the mothers during the ceremony is a low cost way to honor the moms. This is in addition to the corsages given before the ceremony.

If both parents are still married to each — which, sadly, is rare — I will point out how long they have been married to each other. Sometimes, the guests will applaud that. They should.

Rachel (whose parents have been married for 31 years) and Joe (whose parents have been married for 27 years) did something I’ve never seen before — they gave their moms flowers that matched what they had at her wedding decades ago! They looked up old photos and matched the type of flower. Sweet!

Rachel and Joe got married on the grounds of Cantigny in Wheaton. The reception was there, too. Everyone calls it “Can-tig-nee” but it’s French and should be called “Can-tee-nee”. Either way, it’s a beautiful place.

Groom gets boo’d at his own wedding!

For the first time, a groom got roundly boo’d by the 200 guests at his wedding — while I was telling their story. Here is their story, which I shared at their wedding,  of how they met:

“Kelly and Brian both went to the University of Illinois in Champaign-Urbana at the same time, 1995 to 2000. They had mutual friends — but never met, at least not that they can remember.

May 2003 —they both are at a birthday party at a Lincoln Park bar for Liz (a bridesmaid). Brian was with Pete, Mike and John (all groomsmen). Kelly is with Liz (a bridesmaid), Amy (the matron of honor) and Denise (who is here today) + other girlfriends. There are 15-20 people.

He is wearing a child’s Shrek watch — that he had gotten out of that morning’s Fruit Loops box. He walks up to her and asks if she knows what time it was. No,” she says. “I do.” And with that, he holds up his arm to show her the watch. That is his ice breaker. It works.

HIS 1^st impression — she has a Jennifer Aniston hair cut (she had gotten her hair professionally styled that day but she thought it was straight and sleek — NOT a Jennifer Aniston hair cut)

HER 1^st impression — very loud and very funny. She likes his goofy sense of humor.

They talk. Amy (the matron of honor) remains by her side for most of their conversation He invites her to a Cubs game. His father can get tickets — but he’s not sure for which game.

He asks for her phone number. He does NOT remember getting it. She remembers giving it to him. Regardless, he NEVER calls her. [At this point, the whole crowd — 200 of their closest friends and family — BOO the groom! He holds up his right hand and does a "thumbs down!" He was boo'ing himself.]  She is a bit disappointed — but moves on.

TWO years later [the audience gasps] — August 2005 A group of friends got together, again. These two stayed out later than everyone else. They talk and connect. He asks for her phone number. This time he keeps the number. 2 days later, he calls her. Their first date is at Ten Pin Bowling Lounge at House of Blues Hotel. The evening ends with a kiss.”

3 years later, he proposes to her at Ten Pin Bowling Lounge at what is now Hotel Sax Chicago. But that’s another story.

Kelly and Brian got married on Saturday at Salvatore’s Restaurant, 525 W. Arlington Place, Chicago — in the Lincoln Park neighborhood. They had exclusive use of the restaurant all evening for the ceremony and reception. Amra Custic did a wonderful job at the rehearsal and the wedding day.

Time Capsule — to be Opened in 10 Years

Last weekend, a couple — Ashley and Jake — filled a wooden box with a bottle of wine and a letter they each wrote with thoughts about each other, their wedding and their future.

Photo courtesy of Thorsen Photography

The couple, who are always doing home improvements together, then nailed the box closed during the ceremony. Note how the hammers were made up to resemble a bride and groom! I announced what they were doing and that they will open it in 10 years. It’s their own personal time capsule. I’ve never done that before at a wedding.

Photo courtesy of Thorsen Photography

I met the bride’s uncle who supplied the wine. He said it would be best consumed in 12 years. I’m guessing Ashley and Jake will drink it in 10 years, when they open the box :>)

The wedding was at the exclusive and beautiful Medinah Country Club (where Tiger Woods won a PGA tournament in 2006 there). Unlike the Metropolitan Club (67th floor of the Sears/Willis Tower), someone has to be a member for you to do a wedding there.  Once there, Suzanne Jarka will take very good care of you.

1st Wedding Party on the Ledge at Sears Tower!

I was the first officiant to have their photo taken with a bride and groom — Sharon and Arthur — on the new Ledge at Sears Tower. (OK, technically the Willis Tower but I’m not yet ready to change.) It’s amazing. You walk onto glass and look 103 stories straight down!

No, that’s not me in the photos, below.  I’ll post the actual photos when I get them. The photographer — Catherine Chouinard of Chouinard Photography — has a fear of heights but still went on the Ledge to get the photos! A real pro.

The wedding was at the fabulous Metropolitan Club on the 67th floor. (In fact, I had two weddings there on the same day! That’s a first for me. Invited to both receptions.) Weddings are open to anyone there, you do not need to be a member. Ann Turnbull or Joe Flynn will take care of you well.

BTW, the Skydeck will let you get married there at no additional charge — other than the cost of going up ($15 per adult) — for small weddings. Contact Charlene Graczyk. I assume you can not get married on the Ledge due to its popularity.  Perhaps I could do the very last part — the actually legally binding part — there.

It’s a one of a kind photo op!