Best Man Got Them Together, Maid of Honor Made the Proposal Special

Ever wonder who to have as the best man or the maid/matron of honor? One clue — they figure prominently in your love story.  Enjoy this love story I shared with 300 guests last weekend.

How did Amanda and Sean’s love story begin?

The met May of 2006. Kevin, the best man and the groom’s brother, owned an Italian restaurant in the northwest suburbs.

She got hired as the phone girl.

There was an art fair in Park Ridge — the restaurant sold pizza by the slice. Sean worked at the event. So did Amanda. It was really hot — 100 degrees and humid.

HER 1^st impression — oh, Kevin’s little brother. HIS 1^st impression — oh, the phone girl.

They exchange phone numbers that day — but with NO romantic intentions. They become friends.  She thinks he is too young. He thinks she is too old.

One night, they’re with a group of friends at Nick’s Pub. It’s for her 25^th birthday. He lies and says he is not coming home from college for the party. When he shows up, she is surprised — in a good way.

SHE kisses him that evening. But nothing changes between them — for 8 months.

May 2007 — a year after they first meet. He comes home from college for the summer. They spend lots of time together, constantly.

One night, at a bar, they start joking around. “You don’t really want to date me,” she says. “Yea, I do,” he replies. She is floored — she had no idea. Then he leaves — on a family vacation, for a week.

They have been dating ever since.

How did Sean propose to Amanda?

It was June 28, 2009. She had no idea the proposal was coming.

Her grandfather was in declining health. On Sunday, Grandpa is put in hospice.

On Monday, Sean takes her out to dinner. She thought it was to cheer her up. She picked the place — Eliott’s. She got crab legs.

She did not notice if he was acting different or not. He’s stalling for time. They have dinner. And dessert. Then he orders another beer. That did seem odd to her — but she was still clueless. He needs one hour. The hour has passed.

They go home. They come in the back door. Tealight candles line the back hallway. She starts to panic. In the kitchen, champagne and roses are on one counter. More candles are on another counter. On the kitchen table is an 8×10 photo of them. There are more candles around that.

This was all set up by Diana, the maid of honor, in one hour. He had drawn up a diagram — but he had put it in his bag, she could not find it. Sean says she did a better job than he drew up. Tom, her boyfriend, helped her.

In the kitchen, Sean gets down on one knee. He holds the ring box — closed and upside down! He has a speech prepared — but he’s too nervous to say it. “I love you more than you can imagine. “Will you marry me?” Immediately, she says “Yes”.  Then she snatches the ring — and puts it on herself.

As you can imagine, there was a lot of laughter by their guests. (I get that all the time.)

This was shared indoors — it was supposed to be outdoors but 30 minutes before the ceremony began it rained hard with strong winds — at the Westin Chicago Northwest in Itasca with the wonderful Susan Johnson arranging it all.

The couple was kind enough to invite me to stay for the reception and sit at the bride’s parent’s table. It was a lot of fun.

He Wants Proposal to Surprise Her — Whether It is Romantic or Not. (It’s NOT :>)

How did Bill propose to Nina?  She was NOT expecting a proposal.

He can NOT hide a secret. His one desire was to surprise her — whether it was romantic or not.

Several months before the proposal, Nina and Bill are chatting with her mom at her parent’s house. She is talking about weddings, the number of guests and so on. Her mom says, “Nina, I’ve heard what you have to say about all of this.” She looks at Bill. “Bill, where are you on all this wedding stuff?” Bill replies, “Well, let’s put it this way. If this were a 100 page book, Nina is on page 100 and I’m on page 99.” Nina laughs. Her mom says, “That is so profound.”

Several months later, he goes to Norridge to pick up the ring. He told her he has to move a couch with his dad for his sister. She HAD just moved. He says it will only take an hour. It takes two. She is sitting on the couch, watching TV. He is cutting it close to go out with friends — the planned activity.

On the way to pick up the ring, he texts his sister, Jamie (a bridesmaid) “I’m picking up the ring right now. I’m going to ask her tonight.” She writes, “How are you going to do it?” “I don’t know how.” He had NOT thought that far ahead.

He gets the ring and then drives to a golf driving range near their home. He calls Nina and tells her that the car is broken down, come meet him. He does have an old car — it makes perfect sense. She is irritated — he is late, they will have to spend extra time to jump his car.



She arrives. The hood of his car is up. He looks annoyed, too. She pulls her car so her hood faces his car. She rolls down the window, “I’m not getting out, it’s cold outside!” The temperature was in the 30’s — he is shivering.

He says to her, “You have to come out here and look. Something looks weird in my car.” She is further annoyed — she does NOT know what she is supposed to be looking for. She gets out of the car.

“Look,” he says. “At what?” she replies. He says, “Look.” SHE thought he meant at the car. HE meant it as in “turn around.” “I don’t know what I’m looking at,” she says. He pokes her. He turns her around.

He is on one knee. “I picked something up for you.” “Will you marry me?” She replies the way every guy hopes for — “Are you serious?” He replies, “Yes.”

Then, he gets up and puts the ring in his pocket! “So, is that a yes or a no?” “Yes, but you put the ring back in your pocket.” He pulls out the ring — puts it on her hand. They hug and kiss. She calls the maid of honor first — and then her parents  He calls his parents.

They did meet friends, as planned, at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Turns out, the best man did not know the whole story — until I told it. “Bill [the groom] is quiet,” he tells me.

As you can imagine, the guests roared with laughter when I told this story recently in the Grand Ballroom at Union Station in Joliet. Laurie there took great care of us — helping me with the rehearsal and the ceremony.

Winter Wedding Woe — 24″ of Snow

You never know what the weather will be like for your wedding. It could be raining (see previous blog posting). But if it’s winter time, it could be worse — a couple in Virginia had to deal with 24″ of snow on Dec. 19

The bride and groom made it to the Holiday Inn on time.

The problem was with the wedding coordinator.

And several dozen guests.

And the bride’s three brothers.

And two groomsmen.

And the couple’s minister, all of whom failed to arrive at the hotel thanks to a severe storm that plastered Staunton with nearly 24 inches of snow. At 1:30 p.m., when the wedding was to have begun, “everyone was still stuck in their driveway,” said Ms. Rhiner-Campell, 19, who met her fiancé in April and was engaged in November.

So Ms. Rhiner-Campbell did what any good bride would do: She freaked out. Badly.

“I yelled at a lot of people,” she said. She also considered holding the wedding the next day, but the hotel was filled with stranded travelers and quickly running out of food. “And they couldn’t bring in anyone to make it,” she said.

I have NEVER missed a wedding — not due to illness yet alone weather. But then, it’s been a while since we had anything close to 24″ of snow in one snowstorm.

It does take three to make a wedding happen — a bride, a groom, and an officiant (me). Another minister was found — at the hotel Read the rest of the story in the New York Times article.

Toasts & YouTube (NY Times)

Best Men, Maids/Matrons of Honor, feeling pressure abour your toast? YouTube just raised the bar — and that is probably not a good thing.

The New York Times recently did a story that opens:

WEDDING toasts can be witty or raunchy. They can be shouted, mumbled or slurred. They can make guests laugh, cry or yawn. But in a video democracy in which guests are often armed with sophisticated cameras, toasts are becoming more like scripted performances.

I think a good toast is a story about the bride or the groom — something funny and/or warm but not too over the top. Nothing sexual. A story from when they were younger often works well. Follow that with your best wishes for the couple — be specific. Then be sure to actually propose a toast — all the guests have a champagne glass in their hand.

You can write it out (I use a script for the wedding ceremony). If it’s more than one page, staple it together. That way, if you accidentally drop it, it stays in the right order.

A one minute toast is sufficient. It’s about being genuine — not doing show tunes, dance routines or being a comic. Leave the YouTube videos to others — be yourself. There is a reason you were chosen to be the Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man. Let that love show through.

You can read the entire New York Times article, with links.